F&%$ it. Positivity, I mean, because I ain't got it.
I have been doing next to NOTHING for over a week now and at the moment my head feels like it's going to explode and I feel like puking all.the.time. I think, "Maybe if I eat I won't feel like puking." So then I look for something to eat that looks at least a little appetizing and nothing does, but I eat anyway and for about 20 minutes I am happy because I don't feel like puking. And then the nausea comes back and makes me want to cry.
Every symptom has come back. Every single one. Headache, nausea, dizziness, memory problems, ears ringing, vision issues, floaters in my eye, difficulty concentrating and remembering how to do things, disorientation...blah blah blah and so on and so forth.
It's a fun life I'm leading right now, people. A fun life.
I may not be very positive but at least I'm honest, right? Agree with me, even if you're lying.
The only thing I'm feeling positive about is that since all I can do for 20 hours a day is lie around I've been able to get hooked on a new TV show. I'm halfway through season two of Weeds. It's a good show.
Yesterday I told myself to get an attitude adjustment and I forced myself to list all the things I'm grateful for right now. It was a decent list, but today my attitude has shifted back to, "I hate this f-ing brain injury."
And I'm okay with that. Maybe I'll find some more positivity tomorrow. And maybe, just maybe, I won't feel like puking.
Here are a couple of pre-crash pictures from the weekend before last. Alex and I went to a Halloween party that ended up sucking so we left the party, ate at Qdoba and then went home. But we still managed to have a good time. Because we have positivity. I am the (Sexy) Positivity Fairy. (And yes, I recycled last year's costume after my vampire fangs wouldn't work.)
And this guy, he's all kinds of positive. Obviously.