Mindful Mondays: Mindful Fun

Sometimes when life isn't going the way you planned you have to intentionally carve out time for having fun. We had planned an 80s Halloween Party for this last Friday night several weeks before I fell ill and I was tempted to cancel it but instead decided to rest as much as possible beforehand and just go for it.

It was a lot of fun. I took it pretty easy. I did have a couple of drinks, but honestly they help the headache, I think because of the muscle relaxant effect. I also had an atomic fireball, one of my favorite 80s treats. I love those things. Cinnamon candy was always my favorite. Fireballs, Red Hots, cinnamon hard candies...YUM. Being off sugar for so long has really made me lose my taste for most sweet things, but apparently not for cinnamony sweet things. I enjoyed the heck out of that fireball, and had two more last night. A fun, yummy, and nostalgic treat.

Alex went for the Miami Vice look. I realized that I would totally wear this outfit minus the tight rolled jeans, and in fact I bought the vest (which is actually a coat - the sleeves zip off - so 80s!) to use this season.

My insolent 80s teen and I. I told her to look "unaffected." She's got it down.

Bubble Yum, Atomic Fireballs, candy necklaces and huge jawbreakers. Blast from the past!

My little 80s rock star.

Have a happy and safe Halloween. And I'm intentionally not throwing "healthy" in there. It's Halloween. Eat some candy. Have some fun!

What to Wear Wednesdays: Weddings!

So I probably mentioned the fun wedding we went to about a month ago. Our friends Dylan and Sara got married, and we had a grand time at their celebration. (Open bar - so GOOD and so BAD.)

I apologize for the photo quality. I forgot to bring my own camera and they had disposable ones at the tables, which we all had a great time with! I just wanted to show off my little blue dress (That I got at Goodwill for $5! The tag says "Fire Los Angeles." I have no idea if that's a good brand, but I LOVE the dress!) 

Being silly with a friend, but you can see the dress. I don't have any pictures of the back. It's mostly open but ties at my mid back. Super cute.

Dancin' with my hubby. I paired the dress with Eddie Bauer strappy sandals in "pewter." And at that point in the evening I needed my little black sweater/cardigan thingy. The venue was covered but open air.

My good friend Caleb and I. Isn't he adorable? You can kind of see the dangly silver earrings I wore, which incidentally came from Los Angeles. My mother-in-law bought them for me.

Ooo-la-la! (I'm adding this one since you can see the blue streaks in my hair.)

Taking Care of Myself

I just got home from getting a massage and I can't tell you how much better I feel than I did yesterday!

Over the last two months I was really feeling better and sort of slacked off with the treatments that were helping my recovery; mainly massage and restorative yoga. I also fell off the nutrition bandwagon a few weeks ago with a few fun days of drinking and eating whatever I wanted. I think all of that, along with being extremely stressed and busy, was just a recipe for disaster.

So now I'm forced into taking it easy again but also into getting back into a routine of self-care. So I will be getting a weekly massage for the next several weeks and then I will reassess where I'm at and maybe spread it out to every two weeks. I will also be back in restorative yoga starting Sunday afternoon. I'm going to try to make it at least weekly and twice a week if I can. I'm also trying to get back into better eating habits, but may need to wait for the nausea to subside since I am just eating whatever I can get down. Today it was half an acorn squash with coconut oil and sea salt, half a carrot, a few potato chips, a slice of organic turkey and a bowl of vegetarian chili for dinner. Not horrible; not great.

Slowly but surely I'll come out of this relapse, and I'll do a better job of keeping up with caring for myself even when I'm feeling good.

I've got some positivity back today! Hopefully it lasts.

Mindful Mondays: Positivity

F&%$ it. Positivity, I mean, because I ain't got it.

I have been doing next to NOTHING for over a week now and at the moment my head feels like it's going to explode and I feel like puking all.the.time. I think, "Maybe if I eat I won't feel like puking." So then I look for something to eat that looks at least a little appetizing and nothing does, but I eat anyway and for about 20 minutes I am happy because I don't feel like puking. And then the nausea comes back and makes me want to cry.

Every symptom has come back. Every single one. Headache, nausea, dizziness, memory problems, ears ringing, vision issues, floaters in my eye, difficulty concentrating and remembering how to do things, disorientation...blah blah blah and so on and so forth.

It's a fun life I'm leading right now, people. A fun life.

I may not be very positive but at least I'm honest, right? Agree with me, even if you're lying.

The only thing I'm feeling positive about is that since all I can do for 20 hours a day is lie around I've been able to get hooked on a new TV show. I'm halfway through season two of Weeds. It's a good show.

Yesterday I told myself to get an attitude adjustment and I forced myself to list all the things I'm grateful for right now. It was a decent list, but today my attitude has shifted back to, "I hate this f-ing brain injury." 

And I'm okay with that. Maybe I'll find some more positivity tomorrow. And maybe, just maybe, I won't feel like puking.

Here are a couple of pre-crash pictures from the weekend before last. Alex and I went to a Halloween party that ended up sucking so we left the party, ate at Qdoba and then went home. But we still managed to have a good time. Because we have positivity. I am the (Sexy) Positivity Fairy. (And yes, I recycled last year's costume after my vampire fangs wouldn't work.)

And this guy, he's all kinds of positive. Obviously.

Sigh.

I had a lovely Coming of Age Ceremony for my daughter's 13th birthday on Saturday.  I spent the whole week previous planning and buying and writing and baking. It was a beautiful event, and then yesterday I crashed and burned. My brain injury symptoms came back in full force and I spent the day in bed. I haven't felt so badly in at least a couple of months. It's very frustrating that I can feel so badly again, but I suppose that is the nature of the brain injury beast. I slept 10 hours last night and I feel a little better today (my ears aren't ringing - yay!) but I know if I don't rest for the next few days and limit my driving as much as possible I will only get worse instead of better.

So it's bed rest for me again! Hopefully I will be up and at 'em by the end of the week, but I will be taking it easy for as long as necessary. Brain injuries STINK.

Hi, My Name is Beth...

...and I am a sexybootaholic. My addiction is so bad, I squealed with glee when a large box was delivered to my house this morning, then proceeded to take pictures as I opened it up:

The anticipation is almost too much.

Covered in paper; can't even see them yet.

The big reveal.

Aaahhhhhhhh. 

 I already have a pair of sexy brown boots that I bought a few weeks ago, but every fashionista knows you need both brown and black, right? My husband likes to point out that I already own both brown and black boots that I've been wearing for the last two years, but when I bought them I was heavier and had to buy "extended calf" sizing. As you all know, my calves have gotten much slimmer and I totally deserve a prize for that, hence two pairs of new sexy boots! Here are the brown ones, which I am totally in love with:

I also own a pair of brown snow boots with fur that I got last year, just above the ankle open toe boots in both black and gray, and a pair of black Ugg knockoffs. So many boots: so.much.joy. I'm not giving up this addiction any time soon. Sorry, Alex. If it helps, I got them on sale.

I'm sexy and I know it. ;-)

Didn't Quite Make It

Last night we got free tickets to go see the musical Hair, and I was hungry before it was time to go so I had half a vegan burrito bowl from Chipotle. (Brown rice, black beans, tomato and green salsas, lettuce, guac.) It was sooooo good, and I was glad I ate or I would have been dizzy and grumpy during the show. It was fun!

I'm glad I did this little fast to get back on track. I feel more in control now, and more aware of what my body is capable of. I'm looking forward to continuing to increase my physical activity as my brain injury symptoms subside. I'd really like to go back to Tease Studio for some classes once I'm able. I went to a couple before I hit my head, and they were really fun.

I'm so glad to be feeling more like myself again!

Almost There!

Today is Day 3 of my fast. I just weighed and I'm down 3lbs to 137. Oops! Hopefully my clothes will still fit. Yesterday I broke my fast a bit. I had a carrot and a handful of sunflower seeds before yoga because I didn't want to pass out during class. I'm glad I did that because I did get pretty dizzy. I also had an apple before bed just because I needed some sustenance and I didn't want any more juice. This morning I'm actually craving some juice. I added grapefruit in yesterday and loved it! I'm a big grapefruit juice fan (my usual drink when I'm out is a Greyhound; grapefruit juice and vodka.) Don't worry, I didn't add any vodka. Tempting, though. Haha.

The first day I felt really tired and sluggish, but yesterday I felt really energetic until the late afternoon when a headache started to come on. Today I feel energetic again, so hopefully it will last. My skin is healing up - yay!

Detox Time!

My friend Jenn over at Ex Hot Girl just started a juice fast today, and I think I'm going to jump in too. I'll be starting tomorrow. I had a crazy fun time last week, and somehow ended up drinking (a lot) four nights in a row. I NEVER do that, especially since the brain injury. So yeah, fun times, but my body is going, "WTF, Beth?!" I feel like I undid some of the progress I was making with my candida issues, and my skin looks like crap. Well, my skin almost always looks like crap, but I woke up with a couple of zingers yesterday and I'm sure it's from all the alcohol. Oops.

So, I'm only going to do a three day juice fast to detox from my fun, and then I'm going to get back on the plan that my nutritionist made up for me. Jenn is doing a 15 day fast, but she's also trying to jump start weight loss again. I'm currently happy with my weight (140 as of today - 80lbs lost total!) and if I lose any more I'll have to buy new clothes again and I really like my current wardrobe!

My diet for the next three days is: juice, water, herbal tea. That's it. I'll be careful to stay really hydrated throughout. On the fourth day I plan to add in my usual breakfast smoothie, on the fifth day I'll add in a salad for lunch, then on the sixth day I'll add in a balanced dinner (organic protein, veggies, non-gluten grain.) So in a week I'll be back on my plan.

All of this...

In a cup!